The things my boy says and does at the age of two…

The things my boy says and does at the age of two…

‘It’s MINE!’  Any parent of a two year old would probably be well familiar with this firm statement.  Apparently by this time, everything is theirs.  And I mean everything.  ‘My Dadddddyyyy!’ he wails if Daddy isn’t home and I’m doing something evil like removing his shoes or something.   ‘Oh look, there’s Thomas,’ I might say, pointing at a toy.  ‘MY Thomas!’ Jack will snarl, snatching up said toy and clutching it to his chest.  How dare I look at and speak about something that is his?  His hair, too, is his (of course).  I try to touch it, or cut it, and I get yelled at.  ‘No, don’t, Mummy,’ he tells me, slapping his hands firmly to his head and glaring at me as if I was about to hack at it madly with a medieval sword.  ‘It’s my hair.  You’re hurting me!’  I swear I’m not, but how can I keep trying to cut his hair when he says that to me??  We’ve had it all, MY jumper, MY door, MY boogies, MY telly, MY…and it goes on.

Jack says a lot of other funny things these days, and I admit (sheepishly) most of it is from television.  He kindly advises us to ‘go and have a drink’ if we seem at all unhappy – I think this is actually about water and from Thomas the Tank Engine. Although I know he literally doesn’t mean an alcoholic drink, I admit I enjoy taking his advice.

He often says ‘Come on Mummy, let play hide and seek,’ while tugging on my hand.  I’ve discovered he doesn’t really mean hide and seek, it seems he thinks the saying is just an add on to ‘come on’.  And no, I didn’t hide for very long before I worked this out.

One of the best ones lately is the way he gathers things up and gives them to us, saying ‘For your collection, Mummy.  For your collection Daddy.’  This is from the cartoon Raa Raa, and really, it’s quite cute.  I also refuse to be offended by being called ‘Mummy-Pig’, I’m certain he’s not really referring to me as a muddy swiller, it’s just what everyone is called on Peppa Pig.  His newest obsession is Toy Story, which is great.  He does fantastic impressions of certain scenes, and it’s adorable.  It’s only slightly worrying when I catch him leaping off the kitchen table crying ‘To indiggity and beyow!’ He doesn’t watch too much TV, I swear.  Okay stop judging.

Just a touch cuter than this, is his amazing ability to care.  Should anyone be standing on a chair, or anything similarly perilous, Jack is sure to be there to watch you, ‘Be careful Mummy, careful!’  If by chance you hurt yourself in any way, he offers lovely loud and wet kisses along with a pat and confirmation of ‘That’s better!’  He offers this to the kids at day care too, usually between him dobbing on them.

We get a lot of ‘No’, a fair amount of ‘Go away!’ and a heaps of ‘Jack don’t waaaaaaan it!’ but that’s okay, it’s just so good now he can actually articulate this, as he was a very frustrated infant.  I also enjoy the fact he can easily say the word ‘no’.

He has a habit of mixing a few words up, or even making up new ones sometimes.  I’m pretty sure the other day a stranger thought Jack called them a dick.  He was actually referring to a stick he was about to pick up off the ground, but oh well.   When he doesn’t know what something is called, he labels it a ‘nest’, to fill in a space where any other word should be he says ‘meep’, and he is wonderful at putting his little fists together under his chin, staring at you beseechingly and saying ‘pllleeeeaaaseee!’  I’d have to say ‘please’ is probably the worst word he’s learned though, as he know seems to believe that if he uses the words, he most certainly gets whatever it is he is requesting at the time.

He is pretty good at dismissively and pointedly saying ‘Good-bye Mum,’ when I have apparently overstayed my welcome; and does a great impression of being asleep, snores and all, when he’s trying to get out of something.  The only thing that ruins the effect is the fact he keeps his eyes open!

The best thing he says though, is ‘Mummy!’ in that accusing and demanding tone, clearly incredulous that I wasn’t already listening to him before he opened his mouth.  Joke’s on him, I’m always listening, in fact if he’s quiet, I get extremely worried.  Now I just need to convince him to say ‘I love you too, Mummy…’

Much love, Melissa xo


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