Acid bath


I only have the one and he alone will give me enough material to write on here, every day, for the rest of my life! Yesterday, it was getting close to bed time, and I reminded him politely that it was bath time. ‘Mummy.’ he said sternly ‘No.’ I replied with a firm, decisive ‘Yes’ and proceeded to fill the bath. Now, toddlers are notoriously fickle creatures, we know this, and I wondered which way it will go this time. Sometimes, you can’t get him in, other days you can’t get him out. Apparently yesterday I was bathing him in acid. The screams reverberated through the house like a machine gun and not for the first time I felt inclined to leave leaflets in the neighbours letter boxes explaining that Jack has a temper, and is not being tortured on a regular basis.
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What’s the scariest word a parent can hear? I’d have to say it is ‘Uh-oh’ That small, soft, almost non-word two syllable sound could almost be considered as bad as the loudest yelled cuss. Because, it can mean anything. Jack is almost two and a half, and whenever I hear deadly silence interrupted only by a muttered ‘Uh-oh’ my immediate thought is ‘Oh crap, what now?’ Luckily at the moment, it usually indicates a tipped over drink bottle (which I also know is happening when he tells me it’s ‘rainin‘), it could be a toy in the bin, clean clothes pulled out of the cupboard, or even a fresh poo on the floor. Dealable.

I imagine within the next few years ‘Uh-oh’ could mean crayon on the walls, the dog has escaped, rotten fruit discovered in the bottom of a backpack, or butterflies hatching in bedrooms. Maybe after that it might come to mean things a little more serious like, Mum’s car is stuck in a ditch, burn holes in the curtains, or missing beers from Dad’s stash have been noticed. Continue reading